The Unbearable Unpredictability of Dutchness

There is never a dull day in The Netherlands. That is for sure. Just listening to the news always brightens my day and adds a little joy to my residence among the “cloggies”.

This week, a frantic emergency call was placed to the police. Four young men have been spotted in bushes with guns. Not wasting a single moment, the police set out to catch the criminals, as gun posession is not legal here. After finding the boys in the bushes, they were promptly taken to the police station for severe interrogation. Turns out - the guns were plastic, and they were shooting a film for one boy who wants to attend the film academy. None the less, one perpetrator got a fine because the fake weapons were bought in Turkey. The rest were let off with a stern warning. For what, I am not sure.

A little bit closer to home, I was on a tram with a severely intoxicated woman last night. Severely intoxicated. She managed to fall, pee in her pants and lose consciousness within two tram stops. During a thirty minute delay (while we all had to sit on the tram waiting) she was removed on a stretcher with loving care by the emergency services and the police filed a report with the tram driver. But what I found amusing even at 12 at night, was that the paramedic also loaded her three “Heineken Experience' shopping bags into the ambulance with her handbag.

Tonight I also learned some interesting facts about Amsterdam from local friends. In order to provide less fortunate Amsterdammers also an opportunity to live within the city, all housing are rent-controlled. It is based on a points system. For each square meter you get a point, plus a point for a new kitchen, a basin, a bath etc. If you come to a total of more than 140 points (approx) you can charge whatever you want. But - and this is the case for most apartments – if you do not have that amount, the rent is fixed. To an amount of 450 euros per month or somewhere there. Which means, that for an apartment like mine, you can pay a mortgage of a thousand euros or so per month, and not be able to rent it out.

It is killing the investor's market.

This of course has various illegal activities to effect. Since there is a housing shortage in Amsterdam, people will revert to strange practices to rent a house. On the other hand, there are people living on the famous Keizersgracht paying 400 euros per month for a lovely apartment.

My suggestion to the general investor: buy a house, install three baths,10 basins, maybe a kitchen in the bedroom, and you are a free man... But then getting someone to rent it might be another story.

I do find it strange though, that in the year 2008, and in a country as modern and well-organised as here, these things are enforced. And enforced they are: the fine is eighty thousand euros.

Probably half the price of your apartment.

Fortunately I am not pursuing a career as a property mogul, and I´m quite satisfied receiving my regular salary in turn for slaving away my hours at a bank.

Tomorrow I am aiming for a leasurely day of shopping and walking in the centre, but as I said: you never know what might happen...